Sunday, 18 May 2014

Hua Xu Yin Fanfic: My Ending for Shen An


   Hui'er has finished her wonderful translations for Song Ning and Shen An's arc in Hua Xu Yin (see my previous entry). It truly is an epic story of love and hate, and most of all, the choices we make.

   This is a re-imagining because before his death (it was not written explicitly how Shen An was killed), Shen An actually tells his subordinates to bury him with the bottle containing Song Ning's ashes in the wilds of Canglu Ye. But, I prefer to imagine Shen An dying in the midst of a battlefield, just like when Song Ning first went to rescue him. 

    
    This was the final battle. Jiang was winning, but Shen An has made his choice. 

    Shen An, riding on his horse, races forth towards the great general of Li, Song Yan, brother of Song Ning. Song Yan was surprised at Shen An's seemingly suicidal drive, he struck his spear at Shen An, aiming at where Shen An would dodge just like how Song Ning had thrown her Zi Wei spear at Shen An so long ago...... but Shen An did not dodge. 
  
    Song Yan was dazed as his spear grazed Shen An's side and Shen An heavily placed a white porcelain bottle in his hand. Tons of arrows started to fly from behind Song Yan and into Shen An's flesh. 

  Even if you ask nothing left of me, at least I have done one thing for you. So, this is what it feels like to want to love but only being able to receive hate in return. 

   As the arrows plunged into his flesh, his grip loosened on his horse, and his body started to fall. His mind started to unravel....... it was the night of their wedding, the full moon hung in the sky, the floating clouds laid below, reflecting the blossoms of flowers. 

  He takes off Song Ning's headrest and she smiles at him, a smile that she has been saving for the whole day, the culmination of all her blushing desires.

  She was so beautiful, his breath was taken away. 

  This time, he does not speak. 

  After a long while, she tentatively starts, "Husband, from now on, Ah Ning places herself in your hands, please treasure me."



Hua Xu Yin - Shen An's Ending Song Ning's Ending

29 comments:

  1. I think I prefer your ending :D Not only are good at translating, you seem great at writing as well!

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    1. Awww thank you, that's such a lovely thing to say. I had a very deep visceral reaction to the ending of the whole arc and I wrote it for myself to gain some closure. I wanted to give Shen An some redemption and find some happiness if any could be found... but I realised that the only way they could be happy again is if time could really turn back and for Shen An to have never said those words to Song Ning so she could perhaps explain herself that Wedding Night... or even further even further if Song Ning had told Shen An her identity and Liu Qi Qi never had the chance to step in. But alas, it is too late for all of them.

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    2. Yes! My favourite part was when Shen An returned Song Ning's ashes to her brother, him disregarding her last wish in the real ending bugged me a lot. And I love how you managed to keep the "style" the story was written in, honestly I wouldn't have known this wasn't the real ending if I'd never read the real one. I've used "real ending" four times now lol

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    3. Hahaha! Aww, thank you thank you. This makes me very happy. yes, fulfilling Song Ning's last wish was very important for me because I'm a super Song Ning fan and it kind of irritated me that even in death Shen An was going to let her words fall on "deaf" ears again. Thank you!

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    4. You're welcome, and yes exactly!! *high 5*

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  2. For some reason, I had the mistaken impression that your fanfic would have a feel-good happy ending. Haha, I think this makes the story even more tragic, as we get some insight into Shen An’s last thoughts—you can feel his desperation and hopeless longing.

    Hmm… if I were to write my own fanfic it would be similar to what I wrote at Hui3r’s blog (although I don’t know if it would be entirely possible)

    So after Shen An discovers the truth from Jun Fu, he asks her to take him into Song Ning’s dreamscape. There, he arrives at his own funeral, dressed entirely in white. He sees a grieving Song Ning seated beside his coffin. She looks at his figure in disbelief, unable to discern reality from fantasy. With tear-filled eyes, he assures her that he is the real Shen An. After begging for her forgiveness, the two of them are able to reconcile.

    Jun Fu arrives afterwards, warning Shen An that if he stayed any longer in the dream realm, his physical body will start to wither away. He nods his head in understanding, stating that he will not abandon Song Ning a second time. The two of them have chosen to live together in the Hua Xu world, and a few months later Song Ning gives birth to their son.

    Meanwhile, Jun Fu goes back to the real world to cremate Shen An’s body. She takes the ashes of both Shen An and Song Ning to the battlefield of where they first met, scattering their ashes in the wind. Although they had met a tragic end in this world, they were able to find their peace and happiness in another.


    …Oh, and Liu Qiqi hangs herself. Yeah, that part of the story can stay.

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    1. Hahaha! Oh gosh, did I make it more tragic? I think this could be because I have a love hate relationship with Shen An, as I told Hui'er, I cannot decide if I want to redeem Shen An or kill him even more. Haha.

      But what got me slightly annoyed is that we don't get to hear what Shen An thinks when he goes off! I love how ambiguous Tang 7's writing can be, and she certainly gives a lot of signs of Shen An's feelings and despair, but I guess I wanted more. Also, I got a bit annoyed that Shen An did not fulfill Song Ning's last wish for her ashes to be given to her brother so she could be buried in her homeland, hence the fanfic ending above.

      But I really liked what you wrote as well! I think it's very interesting to explore because I don't know if Song Ning will be able to forgive Shen An. One of her epic lines for me is that for as much as she loved him, she therefore now hated him. I don't know if all the debts between them will be so easily resolved... but it would have been so nice for them to have a proper conversation, don't you think?

      I actually have another alternative one that I almost wrote, but it's erm... possibly even sadder and I think Song Ning Shen An fans might kill me, so I didn't know if I should write it. I thought about it after listening to the Da Mo Yao theme song based on the White Haired Song/Poem which talks about the inconstancy of a man's love.

      And agree, in all versions, Liu Qi Qi stays hanged.

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    2. Please do post any other alternate ending you wish to write, I'm sure Shen An and Song Ning's fan would understand, as long as Liu Qi Qi stays hanged.

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    3. Awww thanks! I will certainly think about it. But because I love Song Ning so much, I think if I do write another fanfic, I want to write something that will bring her happiness. The only reason why I haven't wrote any, is because Tang 7 really wrote everything very precisely and beautifully such that even the tragedy makes sense, and to just overturn the tragedy would not work with their characters. So it's tricky.

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    4. Oh hah, I'd like to hear your alternate ending. I doubt there are many Shen An fans-- We love Decembi more, so have no fear and pile on the angst! =P

      Yeah, I'd like to hear a proper conversation between the two of them. Hmm, it is unlikely that Song Ning could forgive him so easily. I guess Shen An could just spend the rest of his life in that dream, forever groveling and chasing after her to atone for his mistakes, A death in battle would be an easy escape, but to live in a dream where he is despised by the woman he loves would be an unending nightmare in a sort of way. It would be fitting, as Song Ning had lived in a nightmare of her own for seven years, having lost the man she loved.

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    5. Wow, your version is so good too! It's awesome. If I ever reread the story and feel sad I'll remember your and Decembi's versions :)

      "…Oh, and Liu Qiqi hangs herself. Yeah, that part of the story can stay."

      "And agree, in all versions, Liu Qi Qi stays hanged."

      "as long as Liu Qi Qi stays hanged."

      LOL I love how everyone's of the same opinion, but yes I agree with that as well.

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    6. Awwww! Hahaha. Ok, thanks for the encouragement! I shall go re-read the arc and see what I will write.

      Yes, forever groveling and chasing after her sounds just right!!! Yes, it's so sad that Song Ning's real life was a nightmare, and she could only find peace in a dream.

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    7. Oh I didn't see anonymous' post before I posted. Haha thank you! :) And, I super lol'ed at everyone's consensus of LQQ's hanging!

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  3. That was beautiful.

    Although the practical me was worried for a second that the arrows would hit Song Yan by accident, but yes, that would be a wonderful way to end Shen An.

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    1. Thank you, Moonblossom, very happy to hear that from you :).

      Hahaha! I laughed about the Song Yan part.

      Even though I can't decide if I hated or loved Shen An, I wanted to let him have his own beautiful dream as well. Also, I love Song Ning and wanted to fulfill her last wish.

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    2. HAHHAHA I worried about that too! xD

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    3. Hahahaha! Those are magical only kill Shen An arrows, as often seen in dramas. :)

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    4. "as often seen in dramas. :)" Haha spot on!

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    5. Haha! We will see how the Hua Xu Yin drama turns out.

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  4. How I wish that one of the tons of arrows that plunged into Shen An's flesh were from my own hands. Pardon my sadistic tendency, I love decembi and s.zara's alternate ending and I'm still bitter about what could have been if there is no Liu Qi Qi (the reflection of selfish side of human's heart).

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    1. Hahaha! Anonymous, I guess it's clear that you hate Shen An. Aww pats pats, we all love Song Ning here, don't we? Me too, I was traumatised for days after reading the end. Liu Qi Qi doesn't deserve to end her life on her own terms, it makes me shudder that even in death, she will haunt them.

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    2. Hahaha right! Both Decembi's and S.Zaras version are so good!

      While I hate LQQ, I have to say LQQ being in the story was what made it so complex, heartwrenching and capturing. That's what made it such a compelling story.
      I also love how this story is like the little mermaid, there's dozens of cinderella stories, so why not a little mermaid story for once? ;)

      That's the thing with targic stories, they're so sad you want it all to be happy, but you know if it was it wouldn't be the same. Not that I'd mind a story where Song Ning and Shen An met each other and lived happily ever after, I'd love that, I'm a sucker for happy endings!

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    3. I cannot begin to high 5 you enough. Yes, this is totally the Little Mermaid story. Even the part where Song Ning loses her love and dies because she "lost her voice" (to be honest, I can't rmb if she lost her voice in the Hans Christensen version lol), to dramatic irony - the mute Liu Qi Qi!

      Me too. I want a happy ending so badly, which I know seems ironic cos of what I written above. But, I shall think of whether I can write something that brings Song Ning happiness.

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    4. "I cannot begin to high 5 you enough." Aww, this made me so happy :D

      I think she did, but I'm not too sure. Ohhh yes I shall be waiting!

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    5. Hahaha! Then let me high 5 you again! :)

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  5. Actually Shen An, Song Ning and LQQ end their life on their own terms.
    But my mind went blank when you write that even in death LQQ will haunt Shen An and Song Ning, anyway rest easy cause I will ask Jun Fu to push her from any cliff in hell before that ever happen.
    Keep up your creative writing,look forward for another interesting and beautiful post. Thank You

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    1. Hahaha, that is my secret worry - the haunting of LQQ! Hahaha, I really laughed at the part where Jun Fu pushes her off the cliff. HAHAHA.

      Thank you :) that is very encouraging!

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    2. I went into total shock when you mention LQQ following them in the afterlife. LQQ is like super glue, even in death she would not leave the tragic love birds alone for once. Which reminds me of that phrase 'even if I become a ghost I would not let you off'

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    3. Hahahaha! In my mind, LQQ is in a hell of her own making hahaha. But yes, she's very scarily like super glue ain't she?

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